Randy
On July 16, 2012 my husband, Rob, and I joked, yet again, at the possibility of me being pregnant. We went to Winn Dixie and while there bought pregnancy tests. In the car on the way home he made a joke that made sensitive enough to tear up. That should have been the first sign! As a side note I must add that I have always had these “scares” because of very irregular periods.
On July 17, 2012 at 7:30 am I found out I was indeed pregnant. I sent a picture of the test to my husband while he was at work. After hearing nothing for about an hour or so, I texted him again telling him he needed to respond! Rob had thought that I was joking and it was some random picture I found. Later on that night I learned he went around the medical lab where he works at Keesler AFB, to tell people he was going to be a father! The first thing he said to me when he got home was, “I guess this means we have to get married?” which was followed by a gleaming smile and lots of laughter.
Throughout my pregnancy I never said a contraction was painful, even if it was. If you call it pain, it will be painful; basic psychology stuff. This went out the window when labor arrived.
March 25, 2013 at 5:40 am, just after Rob left for physical training, I was blessed with an intense contraction that had me screaming some choice words. Until 6 am I had about four more of those bad boys before I decided to warn Kate, my doula. At 6:02 am Kate received a text from me saying “If I’m not entering labor then this is a cruel joke”. I should add that starting on Friday, March 22, I was awake every night until 3 am with contractions. Some nights they would be intense and others just closer together. I also had pre labor for more than a month. From then on the contractions started to get closer together. I decided to shower and brush my teeth to be somewhat presentable and more comfortable. That seemed to be a bit of a chore in itself. In my haze of minor disbelief that this was the real thing I took care of my dogs while texting Kate about everything that was happening. I was also texting my husband with the heads up as well as holy crap this really hurts! Kate and I decided that it would be best that she come over so I wouldn’t be laboring alone while Rob was at work. While waiting I remembered the various labor positions from birth class. I opened the front door, grabbed the chair I use for crafts, and set it so the back of it faced the front door. I sat on it backwards with a pillow for my stomach to rest on. Rob arrived at the house around 7:10 am. He quickly got ready for work and sat with me through every contraction using counter pressure on my back. At 7:51 am Kate arrived at my house just as I was finishing up with a contraction. Rob then left for work with the promise that he would be connected to his phone all day.
When Kate arrived she timed my contractions while using counter pressure on my back, back rubs, and hip squeezes. She confirmed they were about 5-7 minutes apart. The only thing I had really felt during the contractions was that intense peak. Kate and I chatted and joked around. I made a remark about how it was funny that one moment everything was fine and normal and the next I was having a contraction that was painful enough for me to stop talking. Later on Kate suggested using the rebozo. It felt so good having some pressure under my belly.
At 11:11 am Kate was keeping up with Bianca, another doula, as her note keeper for the birth. We had decided it would be a good idea to labor in the bathroom to just “let go”. So I sat backwards on the toilet with a folded blanket supporting my belly. I had passed gassed and apologized, to which Kate told me not to apologize; the action was a good thing. For some reason that had made me think about this joke Bill Engvall tells concerning his colonoscopy. While waiting on the doctor to come into the room for the procedure prep Bill heard many noises coming from behind the curtains in his room. He realized it was men farting after he heard a woman say “that’s good pawpaw! It’s what the doctor wants you to do!” However I got a contraction right before I could say why this joke was relevant. This made me forget about the entire joke. I knew I was telling it, but just could not remember why. The point of it was that Kate reminded me of the girl reassuring her father that farting was good.
At one point I mentioned to Kate about how the contractions hurt so good. It was a wonderful feeling when the intensity started to decline from the peaks.
Sometime around 1 pm Kate suggested that I try to nap. I wholeheartedly agreed as I remembered my whole 3 hours of sleep. We made a little nest on my couch which was oh so comfortable! Just as I was about to drift off to sleep I had a horribly painful contraction that I could feel all the way down to my mid-thigh. Kate immediately rushed over and tried to soothe my pain. Sadly that was the end of trying to sleep. Lying down was just too uncomfortable.
45 minutes later my contractions were lasting about 90 seconds long and were 3-3 ½ minutes apart. The contractions were MUCH more intense. I had started to make noises and exhaled at the peaks. Kate mentioned that she didn’t want to catch my baby and that it was a good idea if I texted Rob that we were considering going to the hospital soon. Rob came home to change and help pack up the car. Rob came over to the bathroom to see how we were doing. All of the sudden I got kicked in the ribs! “How are you able to kick me in the ribs when you are all the way down there?!” Rob and Kate laughed after I said this.
We arrived to L&D at Keesler Medical Center around 3:30 pm. I was dilated at 4 cm. I thought I was at least at 5, but excited to learn that I was pretty much in active labor. I was relieved to know that my favorite staff was working at the time. Col. Rensch was the midwife on call and Lt. Katy Washington was the antepartum nurse. Both agreed that since I was going au natural that I should go home and labor until I felt “pushy”. We did end up going in a little earlier, but it was probably a good idea.
On the way back home I texted my parents that we were going back home to labor until it was time. My dad sent me a quick and short response. My mom sent me a mini novel with a question... I wanted to throw my phone. I had originally told my parents that I will not want to talk to them while in labor. I also found that one of my brothers, Bobby, had texted me asking how I was. I said I was in active labor. He was excited and asked what that meant. I explained it to him and then told my husband to keep my phone away from me before I break it. Texting during contractions was a no-no for me. When arriving back at the house, Rob hit a bump while pulling up the drive way. A whole new different type of pain was presented to me.
Back inside the house, laboring on the toilet, I finally took a poop! TMI I know, but it helped so much! I used to be afraid of the whole pooping during labor, but it felt so much better! The pressure from the last few hours lifted a little. So don’t be afraid to drop a couple kiddies off at the pool!
At this time I started to moan VERY loudly. It hurt. I always thought that women looked like fools while moaning during labor. It was just weird. Not anymore. I remember thinking and even telling Kate these exact thoughts.
Earlier in the day I had labored in the tub, it felt great. I had my soy lavender candle lit, some relaxing music provided by Kate, and snacks. After the contractions had started to intensify and the animalistic noises were tumbling out I decided to try the bathtub again. Rob and Kate took turns sitting with me in the bathroom as I glided through each contraction. Unknown to me Kate could actually hear me moaning and groaning downstairs. The water wasn’t slowing down my contractions or lessening the intensity. But it did take some of the pressure off.
At 6:15 I said the words “I can’t” for the first time. The contractions were horrible. I cried through several of them, and I am not a very weepy person. I was sitting back on the chair with the pillow. All I could think about was that this was just going to get worse. I had to have been progressing, maybe 6 cm by now? Rob was so calm, loving, and supportive. I kept glancing at him, seeing some of the hurt in his eyes; this was a pain he could not take away. He kept rubbing my arm and shoulder while telling me I was doing a good job.
At 7:00 I was back in the bathroom, just letting it all go. I was getting stressed out by the intensity of the contractions. I was so anxious I thought that I had to be so close now. My contractions were barely 2 minutes apart. I felt like I was getting a little pushy and as much as I didn’t want to move I really didn’t want to birth my baby on the toilet. Back to the hospital we went! Getting into the car was where the seriousness kicked in and just about all joking stopped.
The drive around the flight line on base was just horrific. My husband passed over a few bumps which intensified the contractions even more! I think I may have even screamed at some point. I told him that he needed to pull over and wait. He did just that as I was imagining Security Forces coming over and asking what the problem was as I yelled to them that I’m in labor and to go away! The contraction lessened and we moved on. While in the car at 7:35 I felt an intense contraction that went into my thighs. The pressure was unreal! Then pop! My water broke. It was a relief! I knew I was that much closer to being done! And then the intensity became so excruciating. Kate described my look as “I’m over it, and this is not fun anymore” look. I announced that I didn’t want to walk as we neared the hospital. Getting out of the car was a chore for me. I was concerned about not dripping in our new vehicle, which actually took my mind off of the pain for all of 2 seconds. Kate wheeled me into the hospital as Rob parked the car. While getting into the elevator someone had asked if I was okay. I couldn’t even look at this person. I just wanted to say “I’m pregnant, what do you think is happening?!” Kate replied with something like “she is in labor.” As we got up to L&D I was immediately put into one of the big birth rooms. When Rob came up to the room, my nurse Cyndi suggested the slow dance position with Rob. The man was a serious trooper. I know that my moaning and groaning was loud and right in his ear. But he just kept saying “you are doing such a great job.”
From 8-8:15 I was told I needed a heplock put in. The tech Melanie blew two veins while I was having contractions. I was not a happy camper. I wanted to run out of the hospital and back to my bathroom. Laboring in bed was by far the most difficult thing. I had no idea how women did this in other hospital settings. Cyndi came back in the room and checked my cervix. 6 cm. I was at 6 cm! Are you kidding me?! How is that possible?! Kate saw the defeat on my face and assured me that getting to 5 was the hardest part. Labor would progress much quicker now. Yeah… sure Kate. Finally the heplock was inserted and I could get off the darn bed!
Kate then suggested the shower. I obliged and slowly made my way to the shower. This was the spot where transition started. I felt like I was going to die. Kate assured me that it was only pain and pain couldn’t kill me. Her words rang truth, but held no weight for me. All I could feel was pressure in my hips, lower back, and just under my stomach. The water for the shower was not very hot. There was no relief in sight for me. I became serious about wanting an epidural. I felt like I couldn’t do it. I was only at 6 cm and the pain was this intense. I became afraid of the pain getting worse because I knew it was going to. Rob and Kate kept telling me “just one more contraction”. I knew it was a lie. I knew there were many more contractions. I didn’t understand that what they really meant was one more contraction closer to seeing your baby. There was no fluidity in my movements. Before going to toilet I cried and said that I really wanted a natural birth, but I just didn’t care anymore. It hurt so badly. The pain was too much. I labored on the toilet before another suggestion was made to switch up positions. As I got up there was the bloody show! Kate seemed excited to see it and yet again assured me we were getting closer. I was afraid I wasn’t. I had no idea where I was in labor and I didn’t want to be checked because that was even more painful.
We all moved over to the ball. At this point I had a few contractions in between one really big contraction. That one really big contraction was throwing me off. At every big contraction I kept saying I wanted an epidural that I couldn’t do it anymore. I decided to get crafty and work on my husband’s empathy for me. I would look deeply into his eyes when it hit so he could see my pain and I would beg him for one. He kept saying “you can do this”, “you don’t need one”, “you want to do what’s best for Randy”. He was sticking to what we previously discussed; my plan was not working. I had figured it wouldn’t work on Kate because she was too determined to see me do a natural childbirth like I so desperately wanted. I ended up throwing a mini tantrum at my husband. I just stopped moving on the ball, hit my right knee, and said “NO”! Sometime after that I stopped talking. I couldn’t talk. I didn’t want to talk or hear anyone talk.
My nurse Cyndi came into the room and said “things are looking good”. I wanted to slug her. Looking good?! I felt a pain that is literally indescribable. To me that was not good. I will agree now that natural labor pains are good thing in their own twisted way. During this non talking phase I got into this crazed groove. I noticed that I was in it, but had no idea when this shift took place. I rolled on the ball in a circular movement, gripped the handle of the hospital bed, had my head resting on the bed, and my feet on a bar beneath the bed. Poor Kate and Rob were stuck with doing hip squeezes. Nothing else felt good. Kate tried to rub my back and I tried to swat her hand away by whispering no. Rob would stop to stretch for a moment a few times. I must say these were the only moments in labor where I honestly wanted to hurt him or hire someone to do it for me. Those hip squeezes were the only thing grounding me and keeping my mind off the contractions that stopped breaking. I had the glazed over endorphin filled gaze on my face. Whenever the person behind me was doing something wrong I whispered to Kate or Rob in front of me for them to stop.
9:15 finally rolled around. I was shaking, but not cold. 10 minutes later I became very quiet. I would make the occasional noises and grunt, because the pushing phase began here. The only thing that helped the pain was to push. But I knew I had to be careful because I didn’t want to tear. I tried to control the pushing to avoid that. As I pushed I could feel the ooze of fluid creeping out. Normally this would gross me out. While watching birth videos I would always cringe a bit while seeing the mess that came from the laboring woman. In this case I could care less. Just like modesty. I was raised to be modest. I hated even going to the beach in my bathing suit. In this phase all I was wearing was a sports bra. I never even changed into my birthing gear (maternity skirt and nursing sleep bra). I didn’t care. I had something much more important going on than a concern for bodily fluids and modesty.
Back to the topic at hand! My husband noticed that I was pooping. Gross I know, but it happens when the baby is moving further down into the birth pelvis/birth canal. It’s uncontrollable and again while laboring you really don’t care what is going on. At this time I could feel my hips opening more. I started to really feel his head moving on down. Kate noticed and wanted me to pee one last time before the labor brigade came into the room. I did not want to get up. I was determined to fight with Kate. The ball became my new sanctuary, but I knew she would bother me with it to no end. So with a great amount of help we waddled to the bathroom. I liked laboring on the toilet, but also hated it because I didn’t have that support for my belly like I did at home. When I sat on the toilet the urge to push was unbearable. I remembered what Ina May Gaskin had said about slowing yourself down to not cause damage: reach down and touch the head. I reached down and he was slightly crowning! I could feel his head! I told Rob who was doing hip squeezes. He believed me at first, but then noticed that no one else was anxious. Kate thought that perhaps it was the pressure I was talking about and the same with my nurse Cyndi.
Kate and Cyndi agreed it was time for me to switch up positions. They wanted me to be on all fours on the bed for more laboring, not necessarily for the birth itself. For the birth I wanted to use the squatting bar. Everyone helped me walk to the bed. I felt like I was going to do a split! I could feel his head and feared he would fall out of me as if bungee jumping via the umbilical cord. Rob and Kate helped to position me on the bed. After being there for just a few seconds I felt the ring of fire!
During pregnancy I associated the ring of fire to “hot” poop. Everyone has experienced this at some time in their life; it is not a fun feeling. Take this sensation and multiple it by a billion and there is your ring of fire. Except it’s more like a mixture of a ring of fire and hot molten lava.
Thankfully the ring of fire only lasted for about 3 minutes. The whole time I could feel the head moving out and in. Every time it moved back in I said a quick thankful prayer to God that the pain lessened. Then I felt him come out and go back in a little. The next time I felt his head come back out; it stopped going back in and slowly started sliding out. Intense doesn’t even begin to describe the feeling of his head being in that spot. At this point I had blocked out everything going on in the room. I figured I warned everyone and they had their chance, this kid is coming out… NOW! I trusted my body to know what to do. So I did the only thing I could to alleviate some of the pain, I gave a small push. His head popped out all the way! Rob was standing directly behind me and saw the whole thing. The nurse said “Whoa! Stop pushing! Hold on a second!” She then calmly told Kate to get Col. Rensch. Kate ran into the hall and said “We need Rensch! The baby’s head is out!” Kate ran back into the room as Cyndi said ok one more little push. Cyndi didn’t even need to finish the word push for me to give that last push. Kate snapped a quick picture of our son being born. All the while the instruments were being wheeled into the room as Col. Rensch was running in. Things were being knocked over and hastily opened up.
All I could do was stay on my hands and knees. Did this really happen? Was he really born? The hard part is over? Can I even move? How do I move? Do I even want to move? All of these questions hit me simultaneously. Then I heard his cry. Then all I could think about was how I couldn’t move and I wanted to see him. I still couldn’t talk because of the shock. Rob had his hand on back and told me I did such a great job. I heard Cyndi telling me to take my baby through my legs. Kate and Rob helped with this action as we laid him down on the bed under me. All I could do was stare at him. Kate said something like okay let’s move you for skin to skin. How I was able to move is a blur, but the next thing I remember is holding him and staring at him. It was surreal. I did actually have a baby inside of me for all of these months! I was told that I did such a great job by almost everyone in the room. Then I locked eyes with Col. Rensch. She did not look too happy. I have no idea what the reason is behind it, whether the doctors were going to be up her bum about the situation or she was mad no one waited. Cyndi told her that I didn’t really push at all and it just happened so unexpectedly fast! Then she asked what the time of birth was. No one really had a clue. Everyone was too engrossed with this unassisted birth. Col. Rensch said well let’s pick a nice even number around the time to be believed; 22:22.
After the cord stopped pulsating Col. Rensch told Rob how to clamp and cut the cord. Then it was time for the placenta to be delivered. I barely felt it. Next was surveying the damage. I had an extremely minimal tear that healed in 2 days! I did tear, but in the long run I didn’t care and it wasn’t even that bad! I had my prize after 18 hours of labor. He latched on 15 minutes after he was born. After an hour of skin to skin I let the tech do all of his checks and vitals for 15 minutes. He was 6 lbs. 11 oz. and 19 7/8 in. long. Rob said “well no wonder he was able to kick you and be down there at the same time!”
We all laughed and smiled in the room. The oxytocin was flowing all around. There was so much love and warmth. Over the next few days of our hospital stay nurses and techs came in telling me how they heard about the birth and how I did such an amazing job. I can honestly say I would not have had the birth I prepared for and worked so hard for without the calmness, support, love, and patience from my husband Rob and the knowledge, support, love, and patience of my doula Kate.
On July 17, 2012 at 7:30 am I found out I was indeed pregnant. I sent a picture of the test to my husband while he was at work. After hearing nothing for about an hour or so, I texted him again telling him he needed to respond! Rob had thought that I was joking and it was some random picture I found. Later on that night I learned he went around the medical lab where he works at Keesler AFB, to tell people he was going to be a father! The first thing he said to me when he got home was, “I guess this means we have to get married?” which was followed by a gleaming smile and lots of laughter.
Throughout my pregnancy I never said a contraction was painful, even if it was. If you call it pain, it will be painful; basic psychology stuff. This went out the window when labor arrived.
March 25, 2013 at 5:40 am, just after Rob left for physical training, I was blessed with an intense contraction that had me screaming some choice words. Until 6 am I had about four more of those bad boys before I decided to warn Kate, my doula. At 6:02 am Kate received a text from me saying “If I’m not entering labor then this is a cruel joke”. I should add that starting on Friday, March 22, I was awake every night until 3 am with contractions. Some nights they would be intense and others just closer together. I also had pre labor for more than a month. From then on the contractions started to get closer together. I decided to shower and brush my teeth to be somewhat presentable and more comfortable. That seemed to be a bit of a chore in itself. In my haze of minor disbelief that this was the real thing I took care of my dogs while texting Kate about everything that was happening. I was also texting my husband with the heads up as well as holy crap this really hurts! Kate and I decided that it would be best that she come over so I wouldn’t be laboring alone while Rob was at work. While waiting I remembered the various labor positions from birth class. I opened the front door, grabbed the chair I use for crafts, and set it so the back of it faced the front door. I sat on it backwards with a pillow for my stomach to rest on. Rob arrived at the house around 7:10 am. He quickly got ready for work and sat with me through every contraction using counter pressure on my back. At 7:51 am Kate arrived at my house just as I was finishing up with a contraction. Rob then left for work with the promise that he would be connected to his phone all day.
When Kate arrived she timed my contractions while using counter pressure on my back, back rubs, and hip squeezes. She confirmed they were about 5-7 minutes apart. The only thing I had really felt during the contractions was that intense peak. Kate and I chatted and joked around. I made a remark about how it was funny that one moment everything was fine and normal and the next I was having a contraction that was painful enough for me to stop talking. Later on Kate suggested using the rebozo. It felt so good having some pressure under my belly.
At 11:11 am Kate was keeping up with Bianca, another doula, as her note keeper for the birth. We had decided it would be a good idea to labor in the bathroom to just “let go”. So I sat backwards on the toilet with a folded blanket supporting my belly. I had passed gassed and apologized, to which Kate told me not to apologize; the action was a good thing. For some reason that had made me think about this joke Bill Engvall tells concerning his colonoscopy. While waiting on the doctor to come into the room for the procedure prep Bill heard many noises coming from behind the curtains in his room. He realized it was men farting after he heard a woman say “that’s good pawpaw! It’s what the doctor wants you to do!” However I got a contraction right before I could say why this joke was relevant. This made me forget about the entire joke. I knew I was telling it, but just could not remember why. The point of it was that Kate reminded me of the girl reassuring her father that farting was good.
At one point I mentioned to Kate about how the contractions hurt so good. It was a wonderful feeling when the intensity started to decline from the peaks.
Sometime around 1 pm Kate suggested that I try to nap. I wholeheartedly agreed as I remembered my whole 3 hours of sleep. We made a little nest on my couch which was oh so comfortable! Just as I was about to drift off to sleep I had a horribly painful contraction that I could feel all the way down to my mid-thigh. Kate immediately rushed over and tried to soothe my pain. Sadly that was the end of trying to sleep. Lying down was just too uncomfortable.
45 minutes later my contractions were lasting about 90 seconds long and were 3-3 ½ minutes apart. The contractions were MUCH more intense. I had started to make noises and exhaled at the peaks. Kate mentioned that she didn’t want to catch my baby and that it was a good idea if I texted Rob that we were considering going to the hospital soon. Rob came home to change and help pack up the car. Rob came over to the bathroom to see how we were doing. All of the sudden I got kicked in the ribs! “How are you able to kick me in the ribs when you are all the way down there?!” Rob and Kate laughed after I said this.
We arrived to L&D at Keesler Medical Center around 3:30 pm. I was dilated at 4 cm. I thought I was at least at 5, but excited to learn that I was pretty much in active labor. I was relieved to know that my favorite staff was working at the time. Col. Rensch was the midwife on call and Lt. Katy Washington was the antepartum nurse. Both agreed that since I was going au natural that I should go home and labor until I felt “pushy”. We did end up going in a little earlier, but it was probably a good idea.
On the way back home I texted my parents that we were going back home to labor until it was time. My dad sent me a quick and short response. My mom sent me a mini novel with a question... I wanted to throw my phone. I had originally told my parents that I will not want to talk to them while in labor. I also found that one of my brothers, Bobby, had texted me asking how I was. I said I was in active labor. He was excited and asked what that meant. I explained it to him and then told my husband to keep my phone away from me before I break it. Texting during contractions was a no-no for me. When arriving back at the house, Rob hit a bump while pulling up the drive way. A whole new different type of pain was presented to me.
Back inside the house, laboring on the toilet, I finally took a poop! TMI I know, but it helped so much! I used to be afraid of the whole pooping during labor, but it felt so much better! The pressure from the last few hours lifted a little. So don’t be afraid to drop a couple kiddies off at the pool!
At this time I started to moan VERY loudly. It hurt. I always thought that women looked like fools while moaning during labor. It was just weird. Not anymore. I remember thinking and even telling Kate these exact thoughts.
Earlier in the day I had labored in the tub, it felt great. I had my soy lavender candle lit, some relaxing music provided by Kate, and snacks. After the contractions had started to intensify and the animalistic noises were tumbling out I decided to try the bathtub again. Rob and Kate took turns sitting with me in the bathroom as I glided through each contraction. Unknown to me Kate could actually hear me moaning and groaning downstairs. The water wasn’t slowing down my contractions or lessening the intensity. But it did take some of the pressure off.
At 6:15 I said the words “I can’t” for the first time. The contractions were horrible. I cried through several of them, and I am not a very weepy person. I was sitting back on the chair with the pillow. All I could think about was that this was just going to get worse. I had to have been progressing, maybe 6 cm by now? Rob was so calm, loving, and supportive. I kept glancing at him, seeing some of the hurt in his eyes; this was a pain he could not take away. He kept rubbing my arm and shoulder while telling me I was doing a good job.
At 7:00 I was back in the bathroom, just letting it all go. I was getting stressed out by the intensity of the contractions. I was so anxious I thought that I had to be so close now. My contractions were barely 2 minutes apart. I felt like I was getting a little pushy and as much as I didn’t want to move I really didn’t want to birth my baby on the toilet. Back to the hospital we went! Getting into the car was where the seriousness kicked in and just about all joking stopped.
The drive around the flight line on base was just horrific. My husband passed over a few bumps which intensified the contractions even more! I think I may have even screamed at some point. I told him that he needed to pull over and wait. He did just that as I was imagining Security Forces coming over and asking what the problem was as I yelled to them that I’m in labor and to go away! The contraction lessened and we moved on. While in the car at 7:35 I felt an intense contraction that went into my thighs. The pressure was unreal! Then pop! My water broke. It was a relief! I knew I was that much closer to being done! And then the intensity became so excruciating. Kate described my look as “I’m over it, and this is not fun anymore” look. I announced that I didn’t want to walk as we neared the hospital. Getting out of the car was a chore for me. I was concerned about not dripping in our new vehicle, which actually took my mind off of the pain for all of 2 seconds. Kate wheeled me into the hospital as Rob parked the car. While getting into the elevator someone had asked if I was okay. I couldn’t even look at this person. I just wanted to say “I’m pregnant, what do you think is happening?!” Kate replied with something like “she is in labor.” As we got up to L&D I was immediately put into one of the big birth rooms. When Rob came up to the room, my nurse Cyndi suggested the slow dance position with Rob. The man was a serious trooper. I know that my moaning and groaning was loud and right in his ear. But he just kept saying “you are doing such a great job.”
From 8-8:15 I was told I needed a heplock put in. The tech Melanie blew two veins while I was having contractions. I was not a happy camper. I wanted to run out of the hospital and back to my bathroom. Laboring in bed was by far the most difficult thing. I had no idea how women did this in other hospital settings. Cyndi came back in the room and checked my cervix. 6 cm. I was at 6 cm! Are you kidding me?! How is that possible?! Kate saw the defeat on my face and assured me that getting to 5 was the hardest part. Labor would progress much quicker now. Yeah… sure Kate. Finally the heplock was inserted and I could get off the darn bed!
Kate then suggested the shower. I obliged and slowly made my way to the shower. This was the spot where transition started. I felt like I was going to die. Kate assured me that it was only pain and pain couldn’t kill me. Her words rang truth, but held no weight for me. All I could feel was pressure in my hips, lower back, and just under my stomach. The water for the shower was not very hot. There was no relief in sight for me. I became serious about wanting an epidural. I felt like I couldn’t do it. I was only at 6 cm and the pain was this intense. I became afraid of the pain getting worse because I knew it was going to. Rob and Kate kept telling me “just one more contraction”. I knew it was a lie. I knew there were many more contractions. I didn’t understand that what they really meant was one more contraction closer to seeing your baby. There was no fluidity in my movements. Before going to toilet I cried and said that I really wanted a natural birth, but I just didn’t care anymore. It hurt so badly. The pain was too much. I labored on the toilet before another suggestion was made to switch up positions. As I got up there was the bloody show! Kate seemed excited to see it and yet again assured me we were getting closer. I was afraid I wasn’t. I had no idea where I was in labor and I didn’t want to be checked because that was even more painful.
We all moved over to the ball. At this point I had a few contractions in between one really big contraction. That one really big contraction was throwing me off. At every big contraction I kept saying I wanted an epidural that I couldn’t do it anymore. I decided to get crafty and work on my husband’s empathy for me. I would look deeply into his eyes when it hit so he could see my pain and I would beg him for one. He kept saying “you can do this”, “you don’t need one”, “you want to do what’s best for Randy”. He was sticking to what we previously discussed; my plan was not working. I had figured it wouldn’t work on Kate because she was too determined to see me do a natural childbirth like I so desperately wanted. I ended up throwing a mini tantrum at my husband. I just stopped moving on the ball, hit my right knee, and said “NO”! Sometime after that I stopped talking. I couldn’t talk. I didn’t want to talk or hear anyone talk.
My nurse Cyndi came into the room and said “things are looking good”. I wanted to slug her. Looking good?! I felt a pain that is literally indescribable. To me that was not good. I will agree now that natural labor pains are good thing in their own twisted way. During this non talking phase I got into this crazed groove. I noticed that I was in it, but had no idea when this shift took place. I rolled on the ball in a circular movement, gripped the handle of the hospital bed, had my head resting on the bed, and my feet on a bar beneath the bed. Poor Kate and Rob were stuck with doing hip squeezes. Nothing else felt good. Kate tried to rub my back and I tried to swat her hand away by whispering no. Rob would stop to stretch for a moment a few times. I must say these were the only moments in labor where I honestly wanted to hurt him or hire someone to do it for me. Those hip squeezes were the only thing grounding me and keeping my mind off the contractions that stopped breaking. I had the glazed over endorphin filled gaze on my face. Whenever the person behind me was doing something wrong I whispered to Kate or Rob in front of me for them to stop.
9:15 finally rolled around. I was shaking, but not cold. 10 minutes later I became very quiet. I would make the occasional noises and grunt, because the pushing phase began here. The only thing that helped the pain was to push. But I knew I had to be careful because I didn’t want to tear. I tried to control the pushing to avoid that. As I pushed I could feel the ooze of fluid creeping out. Normally this would gross me out. While watching birth videos I would always cringe a bit while seeing the mess that came from the laboring woman. In this case I could care less. Just like modesty. I was raised to be modest. I hated even going to the beach in my bathing suit. In this phase all I was wearing was a sports bra. I never even changed into my birthing gear (maternity skirt and nursing sleep bra). I didn’t care. I had something much more important going on than a concern for bodily fluids and modesty.
Back to the topic at hand! My husband noticed that I was pooping. Gross I know, but it happens when the baby is moving further down into the birth pelvis/birth canal. It’s uncontrollable and again while laboring you really don’t care what is going on. At this time I could feel my hips opening more. I started to really feel his head moving on down. Kate noticed and wanted me to pee one last time before the labor brigade came into the room. I did not want to get up. I was determined to fight with Kate. The ball became my new sanctuary, but I knew she would bother me with it to no end. So with a great amount of help we waddled to the bathroom. I liked laboring on the toilet, but also hated it because I didn’t have that support for my belly like I did at home. When I sat on the toilet the urge to push was unbearable. I remembered what Ina May Gaskin had said about slowing yourself down to not cause damage: reach down and touch the head. I reached down and he was slightly crowning! I could feel his head! I told Rob who was doing hip squeezes. He believed me at first, but then noticed that no one else was anxious. Kate thought that perhaps it was the pressure I was talking about and the same with my nurse Cyndi.
Kate and Cyndi agreed it was time for me to switch up positions. They wanted me to be on all fours on the bed for more laboring, not necessarily for the birth itself. For the birth I wanted to use the squatting bar. Everyone helped me walk to the bed. I felt like I was going to do a split! I could feel his head and feared he would fall out of me as if bungee jumping via the umbilical cord. Rob and Kate helped to position me on the bed. After being there for just a few seconds I felt the ring of fire!
During pregnancy I associated the ring of fire to “hot” poop. Everyone has experienced this at some time in their life; it is not a fun feeling. Take this sensation and multiple it by a billion and there is your ring of fire. Except it’s more like a mixture of a ring of fire and hot molten lava.
Thankfully the ring of fire only lasted for about 3 minutes. The whole time I could feel the head moving out and in. Every time it moved back in I said a quick thankful prayer to God that the pain lessened. Then I felt him come out and go back in a little. The next time I felt his head come back out; it stopped going back in and slowly started sliding out. Intense doesn’t even begin to describe the feeling of his head being in that spot. At this point I had blocked out everything going on in the room. I figured I warned everyone and they had their chance, this kid is coming out… NOW! I trusted my body to know what to do. So I did the only thing I could to alleviate some of the pain, I gave a small push. His head popped out all the way! Rob was standing directly behind me and saw the whole thing. The nurse said “Whoa! Stop pushing! Hold on a second!” She then calmly told Kate to get Col. Rensch. Kate ran into the hall and said “We need Rensch! The baby’s head is out!” Kate ran back into the room as Cyndi said ok one more little push. Cyndi didn’t even need to finish the word push for me to give that last push. Kate snapped a quick picture of our son being born. All the while the instruments were being wheeled into the room as Col. Rensch was running in. Things were being knocked over and hastily opened up.
All I could do was stay on my hands and knees. Did this really happen? Was he really born? The hard part is over? Can I even move? How do I move? Do I even want to move? All of these questions hit me simultaneously. Then I heard his cry. Then all I could think about was how I couldn’t move and I wanted to see him. I still couldn’t talk because of the shock. Rob had his hand on back and told me I did such a great job. I heard Cyndi telling me to take my baby through my legs. Kate and Rob helped with this action as we laid him down on the bed under me. All I could do was stare at him. Kate said something like okay let’s move you for skin to skin. How I was able to move is a blur, but the next thing I remember is holding him and staring at him. It was surreal. I did actually have a baby inside of me for all of these months! I was told that I did such a great job by almost everyone in the room. Then I locked eyes with Col. Rensch. She did not look too happy. I have no idea what the reason is behind it, whether the doctors were going to be up her bum about the situation or she was mad no one waited. Cyndi told her that I didn’t really push at all and it just happened so unexpectedly fast! Then she asked what the time of birth was. No one really had a clue. Everyone was too engrossed with this unassisted birth. Col. Rensch said well let’s pick a nice even number around the time to be believed; 22:22.
After the cord stopped pulsating Col. Rensch told Rob how to clamp and cut the cord. Then it was time for the placenta to be delivered. I barely felt it. Next was surveying the damage. I had an extremely minimal tear that healed in 2 days! I did tear, but in the long run I didn’t care and it wasn’t even that bad! I had my prize after 18 hours of labor. He latched on 15 minutes after he was born. After an hour of skin to skin I let the tech do all of his checks and vitals for 15 minutes. He was 6 lbs. 11 oz. and 19 7/8 in. long. Rob said “well no wonder he was able to kick you and be down there at the same time!”
We all laughed and smiled in the room. The oxytocin was flowing all around. There was so much love and warmth. Over the next few days of our hospital stay nurses and techs came in telling me how they heard about the birth and how I did such an amazing job. I can honestly say I would not have had the birth I prepared for and worked so hard for without the calmness, support, love, and patience from my husband Rob and the knowledge, support, love, and patience of my doula Kate.