Brody: Caught by Daddy!

It was a Wednesday morning, I was right around 40 weeks. The day before I was
really exhausted and I went to the chiropractor and to the grocery store and then went
back to bed for the rest of the day, so naturally the house had really fallen apart after a
day of not really doing any cleaning. Wednesday morning I woke up with a good amount
of energy and I was grateful for it because I had a lot to do around the house. I was
accomplishing a lot and felt pretty good and then around 10:30 I had just the tiniest
amount of bloody show. At first I just told myself to stay calm and not make a big deal
out of it but after feeling like it could be any day now for a few weeks, and knowing that
Finn was born less then 24 hours after the start of my bloody show it was hard to not get
too worked up about it. So I called Ben and told him about it and then shortly after that
I called my midwife and told her about it and the first time I talked to both of them I
told them I was fine but I was just letting them know.

I don’t exactly remember when the contractions started because I was so used to
having regular Braxton hicks but as the morning went on I mostly remember feeling
increasingly emotional and panicky about being alone, the contractions were regular but
not really time-able either. Probably within another hour or so I called Ben and my
midwife back and asked them both to come because I was starting to think I was really
in labor and I really wanted them both. I could definitely handle the pain of the
contractions on my own but I was just really afraid of being alone with the kids and I felt
very emotional and needy about my husband being too far away from me, I just really
wanted to see him and cry with him. I am not a big crier but I was very teary all day. I
texted a friend of ours that lives about an hour and a half away and told her I thought I
was probably in labor and if she was available and still up for it and wanted to come
down we could really use her help with the kids, I was afraid to talk to anyone else on
the phone because I really didn’t want to talk too much about how I was feeling and
really cry.
All morning I stayed very busy, it was a good distraction for me emotionally and
physically to keep cleaning. I made the kids and I lunch and ate as much as I could
thinking it was going to be a long day. Ben got home just a little after lunch and I felt so
incredibly relieved to see him, I felt like I hadn't seen him in weeks, that was the best
feeling to have him home again I just felt like everything would be fine as long as he was
with me. We silently just decided to keep busy, I didn’t know what else to do while
waiting on the midwife, so I just kept checking things off my list, moving laundry along,
folding towels, sweeping, mopping, unloading the dishwasher . . . the more I cleaned the
more I started to worry about what to do after everything was done. I didn’t want to
stop. I was afraid to do to much to relax before the midwife got here because I was afraid
the baby would come fast again, and I think I was afraid of labor too, I didn’t want it to
be fast and crazy and I think some parts of me just still didn’t feel ready.

When Ben put the kids down for a nap, Sadie waved at me from across the room
and said “goodbye mama” and that just really got me going. I was an emotional wreck.
I’ve never felt this emotional in labor but it seemed like I just gave birth to her and now
here she was so big now but with a tiny sweet little voice saying goodbye, and it just
scared me because it felt so final. I was so sure I was in labor that apart of me really
thought the baby might be here before they woke back up from their naps.

Well no that didn’t happen. Shortly after the kids went to sleep, my midwife
came and she checked me, or really she tried to check me, but she said that my cervix
was too far back for her to even really check, which generally means labor is still far off. I
wasn’t disappointed at all but I was thoroughly confused. I was still able to talk and be
calm and not visibly show that I was in any pain during each contraction while she was
here but I just still really thought I was in labor. She said it could still be tonight or it
could be next week. Honsetly I think I had been dreading this birth since I found out I
was pregnant so I told her I was really fine waiting. She said to call her if there were any
big changes, basically only if there was lots of blood or if my water broke. She thought
that all of the contractions were from the baby moving down and that I might not get
any sleep that night but she was pretty sure he wasn’t coming that day unless maybe if
my water broke, so after reminding us to make sure I kept drinking water as much as I
could, and to eat something at least every two hours and to keep my bladder empty, she
went home.

I think Ben was really disappointed. He was much more ready then I was to meet
this baby, and he had already left work and we called Kathy down from Hattiesburg to
come help with the kids. I was really only worried I’d still have to keep my house super
clean for another week, and of course I was thinking if the baby isn’t coming today I
really need these contractions to stop already. So Ben and I tried to relax, I think I took a
bath first, thinking that will either stop the contractions or speed things up, and it
seemed like it accomplished neither. My contractions still stayed regular all day long.
Every time I tried to time them I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell when they started or when they
ended, it would be like three little contractions all together right in a row and then a
break and then a long one. So after I took a bath, I tried to lay down and take a nap.
Nope. Not gonna happen. Couldn't get comfortable. Too many contractions. We
realized it had been about two hours since I ate so Ben made me a nice big snack tray.
We ate and watched tv, I drank and went pee, bounced on the birth ball, laid back down,
watched tv, drank, peed, took another bath, ate, bounced, peed, drank .... and it went on
and on for hours. I had been working on perfecting a pandora radio station for myself
for a few weeks, so that helped me a lot. Bryan Adams will never know how much he’s
helped me in labor. So I had my music and I had some peace and calming oil in the
diffuser. I’m really not that into either music or oils usually but it was a good distraction
for me to worry about in labor, it felt like if I just kept those two things going and as long
as Ben still didn’t leave my sight I was fine. Sometime after the kids woke up, Kathy
arrived and played with them here for a while and then took them to Chick Fil A for
dinner and to play, and she brought them home and got them to sleep. They came in
once before bed to say goodnight but I really couldn’t talk to them very long because I
was in labor land.

This was a weird labor land because I still thought maybe this is just a practice
run still, maybe it will be another week, I know Ben really thought so. The first time I
started to feel a little pushy I told him I really thought this baby was coming soon, and if
he didn’t want to catch the baby he should probably try to call Renata back again. I had
called her again a few hours ago, sometime while the kids were gone and told her that
nothing had changed but I was still having lots of regular contractions, and I was really
thought I was in labor, but all she really said was to call her in the morning. If your
confused reading this just imagine how confused I was. I wasn’t irritated or frustrated
but I just stayed so confused. My contractions were still not time-able, not by definition
regular, I could still talk through some but not all, but they were not stopping. I
probably started feeling a little pushy around midnight and Ben and I had several
conversations about calling her back again, but I still hadn’t had any real concrete signs
to tell her about, my water hadn’t broken, I still barely had little bits of bloody show
even, so we just kept on laboring, trying our best not to guess or worry about when the
baby was coming but just getting through each contraction. He was amazing, we laid
down a few times for maybe 20 minutes at a time, but I never got a long enough break to
get any real sleep, so neither did he. He stayed right by my side all night long. He talked
to me while I was in the bath, and rocked with me when I was on the birth ball. As much
as I was definitely in pain by this point, I was so grateful to actually have this time alone
together, it would’ve never been my idea of an ideal date night but I loved actually
getting to be together and depend on him in every way. I was so emotional all
throughout this birth that he literally made me laugh and cry all night long.

And then came the big POP we’d been waiting on. My water broke! Finally! I was
so happy! So relieved that I knew this baby was about to be out any minute now! I was
right! I was in labor! This baby was coming and he was coming now! Ben called Renata
and kept her on speakerphone (well really on the bluetooth speaker we’d been using to
listen to my Pandora radio station on which was super helpful) until she got there. I was
laying semi reclined on the bed and I was pushing with each contraction and then I
could feel the baby move back up between contractions, so I knew I had to move and try
something else. As I was getting into a better position with my knees on the floor and my
arms over the birth ball, Ben went to grab something and asked Kathy to come in and
hold my hand, which couldn't have worked out better. I was so grateful to have her
there. Ben and Renata were yelling a few things, I heard them and understood them and
tried to keep them calm by breathing like they wanted me to but I mostly just ignored
them and did what I had to do. At first it still felt like he was moving back up after I
pushed and the scene did run through my head, like what if I can’t do this? How could I
possibly transfer to a hospital like this? But I really wasn't actually scared, I think just
running through that ridiculous scenario of trying to go to the hospital made me get it
together and push through it and get him out. Once his head was out I was so relieved I
knew the rest would be easy. With Sadie I remember having a long break between
contractions when just her head was out and I remember being totally calm and
thinking how funny it was to be calm with just a head out but I felt like that this time
too, just so relieved and happy and patiently waiting on the next contraction to finish. I
knew he was fine and healthy but once Ben told Renata that his head was out, then they
started talking about what color is he and all that and I could hear it in both of their
voices that they were both feeling a lot more panicky then patient, so I just thought you
know what I’ll just do us all a favor and just get this done. So I did. And he was out. I sat
back and just looked at him for a little while before I picked him up. I’ve never been so
happy, and proud, and relieved, and in love with my amazing husband. We did it! We
did it together! We had a baby all by ourselves! And best of all he was a boy! I knew it!

He was my baby Brody!
10.01.15 Time of birth 4 am
Weight 10 lbs. 4 oz.